Thank you, E.B. White

The first book that ever changed my life would have to be Charlotte's Webb. I think I was in third or fourth grade when I read it, and it was during silent reading time in the afternoon, after recess (my teacher always thought reading was a good way for us to calm down after the chaos of recess).

So, there I was, reading away, never anticipating how this story would end. Maybe I was so focused on the threat on Wilbur's life that I didn't see it coming. But really, I wasn't one to try to anticipate the endings. I liked to be surprised. Well, this one just pulled the rug out from under me... I couldn't believe one of the main characters DIED! It was the first book I had ever read that was sad. I was really embarrassed that I was the only kid in the class who was crying while reading, and my teacher pulled me aside to make sure I was okay. I had not yet known anyone who died, I was so affected by the permanence of death, and more particularly by Charlotte's sacrifice for her friend. It was so moving to me.

Reading that book affected my writing. I loved to write, and had always been in the habit of creating books with drawings and giving them to my parents, teachers, and friends to look at. I enjoyed getting some kind of reaction, hopefully entertaining the reader, or making them laugh. This time, I tried writing a sad story. My characters were a horse and a cat who were friends, and the cat died during some fight trying to defend his friend. What was the reaction? My teacher was concerned about the violence, and my parents were openly disapproving. They asked me why there needed to be a fight, and why the character died. So, I went back and rewrote the end! It was hand written, of course, so just above the drawing on the last page, I squeezed in a line that said something like, "But wait, what's that around the corner? It's Charlie! He was alive!"

But even at the age of seven or eight, I knew that was lame. This was my story! My readers don't get to tell me how it ends! So as a future editor, I have complete respect that a story belongs to the author first, and that my job as an editor is to help with how it's told, to help the author shape it, and to help them come up with the best version of the story they want to tell.

As a side note, I later discovered that my parents have an issue with sad endings in general. They get uncomfortable during movies that end sadly, and if they know a movie will be sad, they will choose not to watch it. So last year, I took a sick satisfaction in making them watch "Million Dollar Baby", which they knew nothing about. They were pissed!